February 16, 2013 CD4

For the past few months I've seen hawks everywhere. It all started with the same hawk sitting on a power line when I turned out of our road. I even discussed this hawk with my mother in law who saw it with me a few times. I never thought anything odd about this because I notice animals and am very conscious of them. I am aware of every animal on my route to work. One time Trace was trying to give me directions somewhere and after several failed attempts he's like turn by the house with the bloodhound and the chihuahua in the same fence and I was like oh ok!

So then we go on the road trip to Oklahoma and my best friend and I noticed at least ten hawks on power lines along the roads. I tell her about the one by our house and then completely forget about it.

This week has been the week from hell. A few highlights are I dropped my iPhone 5 into a solo cup of milk and didn't know it so it sat there for 10 minutes, I got my teeth cleaned and the hygienist asked about me being due in March so I had a breakdown, and a bust for IUI number one and CD 1. Yesterday was my CD 3 baseline ultrasound and my back up phone switched to CST so I woke up an hour late. I threw on clothes and hauled ass to ATL. Well I get to the interstate and it is completely stopped. I'm talking 7 miles in 45 minutes. So 2 1/2 hours late I arrive for my ultrasound. After an hour wait because they had to fit me in a doctor calls me back, and I was like this is weird but maybe they do more then an US and they are going to discuss my plan. Nope she takes me to the US room. Ok. Whatever. So I strip from the waist down and realize that I could quite possibly have the hairiest legs ever. Oops. Then back walk in the "doctor" which turns out to be a student and she's going to perform my ultrasound. Greattt.... The normal US tech comes in half way through and squeezes my foot because that girl was rough!!!! Everything looked great and I was cleared to start my second cycle. Well after the morning I had I decided I was calling in to work, but I still had to go by the hospital to get my Clomid prescription. I tried to just park out front since I was just running in for a second, but the lot was packed so I had to go park in the employee parking deck. I got my prescription and walked back to my car and when I backed out of my spot standing on the car behind me was a hawk staring at me. I just stopped because I was so shocked and then I rushed to take a picture. I didn't have to rush. That hawk was not moving.

I have no idea what it means. I googled and everything says the hawk is a messenger and that it's trying to get me to pay attention to something. I'm not normally this crazy, but it was just so weird. Today while out driving with Trace we saw three more hawks. I don't know if they are just taking over where I live? If I just never paid attention to them before?

February 11, 2013 14dpiui

Well it wasn't the results I had hoped for, today I took my 14 days past IUI pregnancy test and it was as starkly negative as could be. I was pretty sure this would be the case, but it still sucked. Now I'm just waiting on AF and wondering if I should push for more then 50 mg of Clomid next cycle.

So I decided when I got home to call Cigna and discuss my infertility coverage since my employer switched insurance companies this year. When I was enrolling I noticed that it said fertility medications were included. I remembered being really excited about the fact that something was covered! So last cycle I paid $100 for my trigger shot and I was wondering why since I thought the new insurance covered it. Well after 45 minutes, 3 different department, 6 F bombs, and Trace having to take the phone away from me it was discovered that I have no coverage. This was discovered as I was driving 45 minutes back to work on a call back! Lets just say I am not happy. So as soon as I got to work I looked up our benefits and I found what I had read. "Reproductive Health Pharmacy Expenses" hmmmm..... I'm sure they've worded this in a way to deceive me. Insurance is such a freaking racket!!!!

February 7, 2013 10dpiui

Wow. Talk about overwhelmed with pregnancy and babies! This week has kind of been a trying week for me. First of all one of my friends that knows our infertility struggle decided to share all about their first appointment and how they got to hear the heartbeat. I had an asshole response because I'm a jerk.

Yesterday a patient came in for her X-ray and had a gorgeous 3 month old little girl that I got to hold through out her procedure. I know it's crazy, but it felt so amazing to hold her.

Then last night during supper at Mellow Mushroom I helped my 87 year old grandmother to the restroom where two young ass girls were discussing the new belly band that one had just gotten and how she was freaking out about getting huge. Seriously? Could my nana pee any slower?

Last but not least I get to work this morning and the first X-ray I do is on a 37 week pregnant lady with a pneumothorax. Ugh!!!!! At least I haven't been sent to NICU yet this week! I'm sure now I will live up there tomorrow!

Anyways enough complaining, I'm 10 days past IUI and 13 days past my trigger. I tested this morning because I'm desperate. BFN. At least I know my triggers gone. I've had funky cramps all day and have peed 100 times, but those are probably just symptoms I made up in my head.

February 5, 2013 8dpiui

Our road trip out west was awesome! We went through Mississippi,Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, and Alabama. We checked out Miranda Lambert's store in Oklahoma and her winery in Texas. Then we hit up the casinos in Shreveport for some gambling and the Super Bowl. I won $65 on one hand of 3 card poker and I left in the black! We also were whisked around town by the Sam's Town chauffeur in a super sweet Denali. Then on our way home we stopped at a Zaxby's in Tuscaloosa and so did the Raven's cheerleaders!

I tested out my trigger with OPKs until yesterday and when it was super faint I verified with a Wondfo HCG test. Triggers gone. Now just waiting to test. I'm really not sure how long I'll last. I'm crazy emotional right now. I can go from close to tears to cussing you out in a half a second. I don't know if it is from the Clomid or just from the stress of all these months of infertility.

So here are all my made up symptoms: slightly sore nips, pelvic twinges, crazy moodiness, peeing like crazy, and something smelled awful this morning when I left the house and I was nauseated the whole way to work. Oh yeah and the best symptom of all! Amazing sex! This was the first thing I noticed last time I had a bfp, but it could have just been because I was gone for 4 days! :)

January 31, 2013 3dpiui

Trace posted this on his Facebook today and it cracked me up!

So we are already 3 days past IUI! Whoo hooo! Lots of twinges and cramps since IUI. I've took an OPK every day since I triggered and they've been positive, but today it was a little lighter so maybe my triggers getting close to gone. It's been 6 days since my trigger. I'm not sure, but I would think you could test out your trigger with OPKs. We will find out.

Tomorrow my two friends and I are heading out on a road trip. Our destination is
Tishomingo, OK to check out Miranda Lambert's new store. We've talked about checking out Memphis and Tunica so we will see. No reservations and no definite plans!

January 28, 2013 IUI #1

This morning we had our first IUI, and I was sooooo nervous! We left our house at 5 to make Trace's 7:30 appointment. When we got to the appointment they gave Trace a paper to fill out while I paid $616 for the procedure. No infertility coverage, but we had been lucky so far with insurance covering all our testing. As Trace is filling out the paperwork he asks me what our doctors name is, and the receptionist answers him with a different name. I think she's mistaken so I go to correct her and she tells me that our doctor had her baby. WHAT?!? Our doctor was pregnant???? How could I have missed that?? Then I replayed the three times I had seen her, and every time she had a giant lab coat on. Ah Ha! She was hiding it out of respect for her patients desperately trying to get pregnant! Wow.... How hard that must have been! I was told that I would be seen by another RE and she was the one listed on the top 100 bet in the country so that softened the blow.

Any-who, Trace went back to give his sample and I waited in the waiting room, and waited, and waited.... Then I started worrying. I mean there is no way in hell I could do what I expected him to do by myself. Then the guy that went back before him came out so now I'm really freaking out. So I send him a text. No response. Then I hear his voice and I hear a lady say "oh no you leave that in the room". I'm like holy hell he's carrying his sample around the office. :) Finally he comes out and I've never been so relieved when he said "I did it but it was fucking hard! Did you know you gotta do it dry?!" Then he tells me that he had been done but he had to check out at least one of the dirty DVDs they had. He said it would have never helped! I asked him what he was carrying around that he was supposed to leave in the room and he said his paperwork and I sighed a big sigh of relief.

I was supposed to take him and drop him off at work, but his boss had called him while he was giving his sample and told him just to take the day with pay! I love his boss. So we walked to a nearby diner and ate breakfast and killed some time till 10 o'clock when I was due for the insemination. The closer it got to 10 the more nervous I got. Finally we got called back to an exam room and I was told to strip from the waist down. As I'm stripping Trace told me to look up at the ceiling and I see a picture of flowers in a field duct taped right above the exam table. Really? That sure as hell wasn't going to help me relax. In walks my favorite fellow and instant I start to calm down. I ask her a ton of probably insane questions, and she never let's on how crazy she might think I am. I verified Trace's specimen, laid back, and started trying to do relaxing breathing. She inserted the speculum, cleaned me off with what Trace called a "Giant Ass Q tip", placed the catheter which cause a little bit of cramping, and bam all done. I can't believe I was so worried and nervous and it was way less painful then the HSG. The whole procedure might have been 2 minutes.

Now on to the dreaded two week wait. I am so very thankful for my husband. I could never had made it this far without him. He is my rock. He's strong when I need him to be and funny when I need to loosen up. I'm so lucky to have found him

January 26, 2013 Trigger

Tonight I did my first trigger shot! My best friend started texting me at 9:45 asking me if I was ready, I think that my mother in law and her were more worried about the shot then I was. I had more issues getting it unpackaged then actually giving myself the shot. I was about to stick myself and Trace was like wait you forgot to clean your skin off with the alcohol! So he wiped the spot and I stuck it and it was really no big deal!

Then I walked into the bedroom and no shit that show 6 Little McGhees was on! I was like seriously! Trace said it was freaking him out so we had to turn it. :) That's all I keep saying is I don't want to be a reality show.