September 9, 2013 29W 5D

Baby Hilburn is officially declaring this her week. Last night she woke me up on numerous occasions doing cartwheels or something. I think she likes to let me know when she isn't a fan of my sleeping position. Only problem is we are starting to run low on positions she likes! She hates sitting in the car too. This morning she's kind of made me nauseated with all the wiggling she's doing. All complaining aside I'm still in awe and amazement every time I feel her. I can't distinguish what's sticking out or poking me though, but I love coming up with theories. 

Thursday I've scheduled a prenatal massage and a 4D ultrasound at a new place in Rome. They are offering 20% off all procedures so I'm pretty excited to get a hour massage for $50. I told my in laws if they wanted to come to ultrasound that they were welcome to and my mother in law said no that me and Trace should just go. Later that evening my father in law was asking when the ultrasound was and my mother in law told him she couldn't remember because she told me they weren't going to go. Father in law said that he wanted to go and that he had only been to one ultrasound. I thought that was so sweet, and I totally don't mind them being there at all.

Saturday is our first shower. We are having a couples BBQ shower and I am so excited! We've had 25 people RSVP so far and of course we scheduled it for the biggest Alabama game of the season like a bunch of dummies. My best friend Andrea is throwing it for us and she's amazing because she's let me help. I love party planning! We worked on a candy bar that is turning out sooooo cute! I'm really looking forward to it, but I haven't even considered what to wear!!! :)

August 23, 2013 27W2D

So much has been going on! Work is insane, we went on a mini vacation to the beach, and we have been non stop at home! It sure is making time fly by! Trace and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary on Wednesday and we were both so exhausted that we spent it being lazy and catching up on the DVR. It was amazing. 

My biggest project right now is our armoire and glider. We purchased both on the longest yard sale and we are redoing them. The armoire is Trace's project and he's in the process of sanding it down and we are going to paint it the same color as the crib and dresser. We got it for $80

I'm working on a glider and ottoman that I got for $20. The cushions are gross and I refused to even sit in it. I'm going to sand and paint it white also, and Judy from CJ's Cozy Cushions is making me new cushions that I am super excited about. I'm going with gray minky fabric that matches our paint perfect! 

Yucky chair

 CJ's Cozy Cushions

 My fabric

Poor baby girl still doesn't have a name. So far nothing has seemed right and Trace hates all our suggestions and he rates them from 1 - 10 and we haven't gotten over a 3 yet! It is driving everyone crazy that we don't have a name. My mother and mother in law are dying to monogram stuff. 

We have our first shower coming up Sept 14. Here are our super cute invites! 

July 26, 2013 23W 2D

I've been super slacking at the blogging thing! Not a whole lot to report though! I have an amazing husband that did an AWESOME job on our nursery. We had our 2nd perinatal appointment and everything looked great. Baby girl is weighing in at 1 pound 6 ounces already! She likes to kick me in the cooch and it's not the amazing "fluttering" feeling I envisioned! 

June 1, 2013 15W3D

What an awesome day! We had our elective scan to determine our baby's gender, and both my parents and Trace's came along. We got started and my normally super active baby was laying breeched with it's legs crossed, and wasn't interested in moving. I was like seriously!?! Then after rolling all over the table we finally got the view we needed. Girl! I was super surprised! I figured I'd cry, but I think I was just so shocked. 

We left Baby's First Images and went to Babies R Us where Trace and I debated over strollers and of course we had to pick up a few pink items. Trace is going to drive me insane through all this. He is way more opinionated then a man should be about this stuff. 

Then we all went to the Marietta Diner to celebrate which I loved because this is where we would eat after every RE appointment. We walked in and the owner was in the lobby area and we chatted a moment before we ate. Then as we were finishing our meal he came over to check on us and I told him we were celebrating finding out that we were having a baby girl. A few minutes later he arrived with a gorgeous pink cake on the house for us to share. It was a wonderful gesture. 

As we were driving home Trace and I finally got to talk about it and take it all in. Trace said he wished she was already here so when we got home he could lay with her on his chest. Then we discussed all the amazing girl moments we could look forward to like proms and her wedding. Trace said he couldn't wait to embarrass her and be goofy her whole life. It was an amazing awesome day. 

May 12, 2013 12W4D

Today we shared with the rest of our family. Apparently I'm showing more then I thought because it wasn't much of a surprise. There were screams of I told you and we thought so, but everyone was super excited.

 We had our NT scan last week and no signs of downs or any other abnormalities. They are still sending us to ATL to a perinatal specialists since my sister was born with osteogenesis imperfecta and my cousin has dwarfism. They don't suspect anything, but just for peace of mind! During our ultrasound the baby was all over the place. It's hands and feet look just like they ought to and were waving all over the place.

April 28, 2013 10W4D

We had our first OB appointment this week and it was awesome! The doctor I saw was awesome and he instantly did an ultrasound and I measured right on track and had a strong heartbeat. Then we met in his office where he told me that he knew how hard we worked to get this baby, and they were going to work hard for my pregnancy to go as smooth as possible. This brought tears to my eyes.

That evening Trace met me at work and we had an ultrasound and it was amazing the difference a few weeks makes. Then all of a sudden the baby started dancing and jumping all over. This made me laugh which made the baby bounce even more. So for the second time that day I bawled.

http://youtu.be/b5S6mZgXMdo

http://youtu.be/K15zYKOyhHI

April 21, 2013 9W4D

Wow. Talk about a super slacker. I blame Trace and the stomach virus. I haven't done shit! No weekly bump pic (Trace hasn't made me the weeks picture), no blogging, nothing! It all started two weeks ago when I came down with the stomach virus. For two days I didn't leave the bathroom and I even had to miss my ultrasound. It was awful. We finally got to the RE and we had our ultrasound and we were finally released. It was great news and very exciting. Then we went home and I slept all weekend and Trace came down with the virus.

I have my first OB appointment this Thursday and I'm sort of excited. I know this is crazy, but I still don't really feel pregnant. I thought that when I finally got released it would sink in, but it still hasn't sunk in. Both our parents know and everyone at my work knows. We plan on telling our grandmothers this weekend.

April 2, 2013 6W6D

Better late then never. :) We vow to start doing better, and I'll start wearing make up.

April 1, 2013 6W5D

I've been slacking! Lots to catch up! I'll start with our Easter reveal. We are currently living with my in laws while we start to build our new place. I bet we are about to live here a lot longer with our addition, but that's just fine. They have a finished basement that's bigger then our old house and it is on the lake. We decided to reveal to them on Easter because honestly they were getting suspicious. :) My mother in law was wondering why I hadn't received my Ovidrel shot this month. We got an Easter basket from Walmart and filled it with pink and blue peeps, pink and blue candy, and I put a prized egg in it with a poem that I borrow from a girl on the bump and our latest ultrasound picture. We went upstairs for Sunday breakfast and I said the Easter Bunny left your basket downstairs! They opened the egg but neither one had their reading glasses on so we had to pause for a moment. Then the tears started flowing and we all hugged and laughed. My mother in law never even got to the ultrasound so we had to point it out to her. It was a great moment and my father in law kept saying how this was the best Easter and called my mother in law Granny the rest of the day.

So today we had another ultrasound at the REs and right away the heartbeat showed up. I was so relieved that I cried right there on the table. It was 130 beats per minute and that flutter on the screen was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! I had a very small bleed that the ultrasound tech said wasn't a big deal, but it still worried me a little. They were releasing me to my OB, but then changed their minds at the last minute and want me to come in one more time in 7 - 10 days. Trace is so excited and videoed the heartbeat, but it is really hard to hear. All in all it was another great day!

The last two pictures are a conversation with Trace and a picture of his recent searches on his phone. He is going to be an awesome daddy!

March 24, 2013 5W4D

Not much to update but I just wanted to post my weekly bump (or lack of) pic. Of course it's storming like crazy all weekend so this week our pic got moved inside. I was kind of bummed but then my dog Bentley moseyed into the picture and it made me happy. Still no morning sickness or nausea but I'm not complaining!

March 22, 2013 5W2D

First Ultrasound Day! I couldn't sleep last night and one time when I woke up at 2 Trace asked me if I was getting in the shower because he thought it was time to get up. We ended up leaving super early and got to our appointment 45 minutes early. Well I settled in for the 45 minute wait till our appointment time and Trace went to fix himself some coffee (why do they have a Keurig in the waiting room with no decaf when they insist that you cut caffeine???). Anyways Trace is still preparing his coffee and they call us back! I was like c'mon hurry! I'm thankful we didn't have to wait because the five minutes I sat waiting on the US table I almost made myself throw up I got so nervous. The regular tech came in and the first thing she said is why'd they have you come in so early? I was like no idea, and she asked if I had spotting or cramping and I was like nope. She went who knows and told me not to expect to much because it is super early.

She didn't have the wand in there two seconds and she said there is the sac! I asked her if it was in the right place and she said its in the uterus! i asked if it was on the left and she said no its dead in center but that the twinges and cramps on the left were probably my corpus luteum. When she turned the screen towards us and started pointing out the sac and yolk I thought Trace was going to push me out of the way so he could see better. He was across that room so fast and all asking questions. It was great. She said she wanted us back in 7-10 days and the longer we could wait the more we could see when we came back. We settled for 9 days so we will be heading back April first. I can't wait!

When we left our appointment we headed to the Marietta Diner where I got the million dollar cheesecake and Trace got the chocolate suicide in celebration.

March 21, 2013 5W1D

We officially made it past our loss point today. No spotting yet and I am so thankful. I examine my tp with every wipe though! My breast are slightly tender and it takes a few attempts to get comfortable at night, but that is really it at the moment symptoms wise.

Tomorrow is our first ultrasound. This week has taken forever waiting for tomorrow's appointment to get here. I'm crazy excited, but also utterly terrified. I know it is still early, and I'm pretty sure they are doing this ultrasound so early to rule out ectopic. From all the googling I've done there isn't much to see at 5 weeks. My gut is telling me that everything is going to be ok though. I think Trace is as excited as I am, possibly more. He has been trying to come up with a way to tell our parents. He wants to wait till Mother's Day, and I don't think there's a chance in hell of us making it that long. We live in our in-laws basement at the moment so if morning sickness hits they will know about it. I'd like to reveal at Easter with an Easter basket and an Us picture in a golden egg. We will just have to see as long as tomorrow goes well.

March 18, 2013 4W5D

We had a pretty good weekend in Savannah. Trace finally came up with an idea for our weekly bump picture and I love it! We are going to try and take pictures every week outside in different beautiful or meaningful places. For our Anniversary week in August we are going to go to where he proposed. Some other places could be this gorgeous overlook in our town, at our land, and where ever else we can come up with. He doodle his first number and I think it's really cute. I may document on the next page symptoms and such.

On our drive home, about 30 minutes from home, we were crossing a bridge and a car heading in the opposite direction hit our mirror and sent it flying through Trace's window. It was so loud and we had glass everywhere! Poor Trace's face was bleeding and I had a few minor cuts. Of course the other car didn't stop. The state patrol was kind of an ass to us, but we are just both thankful we are ok. Now for all the fun insurance run around. Ugh....

March 16, 2013 4W3D

My second Beta came back at 174 and Nurse Helen called to tell me that was good and schedule me for an ultrasound. She surprised me when she wanted to do it next week. I'll be 5 weeks and 2 days and I know we wont see much. I am excited to see something though. I'm starting to get symptoms I believe, I've got slightly tender breast, the smell of dog food makes me dry heave, peeing all the time, cramps, and little to no appetite. Trace is starting to get on to me about not eating, but nothing is appealing.

We are currently in Savannah to celebrate St. Patricks day with my folks. We got up this morning and went to the parade, but only stayed for 2 hours of it. Currently Trace is taking a nap and I'm catching up on the bump and making this little entry. I told my mom I wouldn't be drinking because of the meds I'm on, but I think she is suspicious. She hasn't exactly been the greatest through our IF journey. Lots of if you'd quit worrying, stop thinking about it, and lose some weight you'll get pregnant from her. Anyways I kind of have a chip on my shoulder about that, and she's offended me so many times that Trace said she would be the last to know. I'm sure we will tell her before the world but right now I'm not sharing.

Hope everyone has a super lucky St. Patricks Day!!!

March 13, 2013 14DPIUI

Well if y'all haven't figured it out yet my husband is not your average male. When we planned our wedding he had way to many opinions. Drove my mother in law and I crazy! Yesterday on the 5 minute trip from our house to our land he was full of useless but hilarious information.

Trace's Rules for a Healthy Pregnancy:

1. No Hot Sauce. "It can't be good for the fetus"
2. I have to ride in the back seat or I have to turn the airbag off to sit in the front. He hasn't figured out how I'm going to accomplish this if I have to drive myself....

I'm sure this list is going to break 100 before we know it. Then we were talking about Nurse Helen that has drove me nutty the past few days, and Trace was trying to describe to me which nurse she was. According to him she is "the old grumpy black lady that always takes him back to rub one out". He then went on to say that it was hard to get excited when she was the last thing he saw. We decided that our clinic should hire a hot blonde in a sexy nurse uniform to take the guys back for their specimen and that she should drop the specimen cup and then bend over all super sexy to retrieve it. That clinic would make millions! I bet the success rates would soar too!

Well today I am officially late! I have my 2nd beta this afternoon and I'm hoping that 60 doubles! I'm still taking test because I'm crazy, and I'm still temping but I think I'm going to force myself to stop because my temps stress me out. Oh yeah! My Pygmy goat is pregnant too!

March 12, 2013 13DPIUI

Yesterday I called and let my fertility clinic know that I had gotten a positive even though I had tested two days early. What a disaster. I had to leave a message for the nurse, and when she finally called back I was scrubbed in a case. So I returned her message and had to leave another message. Then I missed her call again. SERIOUSLY? When I finally get in touch with her we go round and round about my labs. I wanted to just have them done at the hospital where I work and she kept thinking I wanted to just have my OB follow my pregnancy and she kept insisting that I stay with them until at least I had an ultrasound since I've already had a loss. I kept telling her that I agreed with her but I didn't want to have to miss work and drive two hours for one lab that could be drawn just as well at my hospital. She kept on that it was vital for me to come to Atlanta since I had a history of a loss and if I did it at my hospital it would have to be run STAT. I said fine when can I come in and she said how about Wednesday at 7:45.... REALLY?!? It's so vital and STAT that I can wait two days?!? I just took the appointment because I was so frustrated with her.

After discussing with my boss missing work on Wednesday I decided to call back and hope I got a different nurse. Nope. They transferred me to the same one. I couldn't handle her again so I handed the phone to my friend and she got that nurse to fax me orders so I could have it done at work. FINALLY! It was smooth sailing from there! I had my labs drawn and results in my hand in 20 minutes. My first Beta was 60 at 12dpiui and I think that is pretty good!

Every morning after I take my pregnancy test I send Trace a picture of it and i really thought it was probably getting on his nerves, but when i sent this morning his response made me cry.

March 9, 2013 10DPIUI

I was going to blog yesterday because I had finally lost all hope after all this time. Through almost 3 years of trying I had never lost hope and yesterday it finally happened. I could no longer even picture myself ever being pregnant.

I witness the most beautiful moment at work yesterday. I was sent to maternity to take an instrument count X-ray. This happens if they have to open a sterile tray urgently and not have time to count the instruments before a procedure so they can verify that nothing is left in the patient. We are so busy that I am sent by myself up there. When I get to the room there is beautiful gospel music playing and a gorgeous black woman in the bed while a nurse is washing her precious baby. Her husband just happened to be a doctor so he recognizes me and we exchange greetings and I congratulate them. It was beautiful and surreal and when I left the room I realized that I couldn't envision myself ever in her shoes. This was so sad to me because I had stayed strong through all of this, but finally I had given up.

I never in my wildest dreams thought we would go through what we've gone through. I never thought I would have to pay a doctor to help me get pregnant. I never imagined how expensive it would all be and how emotionally draining it would be. If this cycle failed, which I was pretty sure it would since we only had a motile count of 500,000, we would be moving on to IUI number 3. Possibly our last IUI before IVF. I never thought it would go this far. I never thought I would have to console Trace because he didn't feel he was holding up his end in this process and be the strong one, and then cry when he went to sleep. When I had my early loss is July it was devastating, but it also gave me hope because now I knew I could at least get pregnant. I thought I would instantly get pregnant. Next week is my due date, here we are almost 9 months later and I still was not pregnant.

This morning I woke up at 10 DPIUI and because I'm a glutton for punishment I took a FRER. What the hell.... There is a second line. I text a picture to Trace because he knew I was testing this morning and said "Do you see a second line? Mother fucker I threw away my pee so I can't take another!" He responds "Faint" a few minutes later its definitely a positive test. Then I start wondering if it is my trigger because I didn't test it out. Or an evap line or something. This has got to be a joke right? So I went about my day and did all the thing I had planned.

As I was leaving the vet there sits a hawk on the power line across the street. When I pass my grandmothers house another is sitting on her line. I went to our land and a hawk soars over me the whole time. I feel insane, but I promise you they are surrounding me and I hope it is a good sign. When I got back home I decided I had held my pee long enough, and even though I know the chances of turning a digital positive this early are low I took one of those. To my utter surprise it said "Pregnant"!!!!!

I'm ecstatic but skeptical. I charted this cycle and it isn't showing anything amazing on my chart. I will test again tomorrow and Monday and if it is still positive Monday I will head for my beta. I really really hope this is real.

February 27, 2013 CD 15

IUI number 2 is in the books. It didn't turn out as well as we had hoped. I told DH that we could take separate cars if he wanted to leave after his sample and get back to work. He said "Jessica we might make a baby and I want to be with you for all of it". It made me feel really thankful to have such an amazing husband.

Our appointment was at 8:30 and of course this is a horrible time to try to get through Atlanta so we kind of had a stressful trip down, but we made it barely on time. I was sitting in the waiting room while Trace was doing his thing and I got the text message. He was having trouble. I could just imagine how hard it would be with all the people and noise in that office. After it was all said and done we only got 500,000 motile sperm. Last cycle we had 45 million. Ideally they want one million for IUI. They decided to go through with the IUI because I still have two mature follicles ready and 500,000 is better then none! I just keep telling myself it only takes one!

We discussed our options for next cycle and we had a really amazing and positive doctor. She suggested that we bank some semen before our next IUI to relieve some pressure and Trace requested that we have the first appointment again when the office is a little quieter and we have less traffic stress. I also suggested that maybe we stay in a hotel close by and he could do the deed in the comfort and privacy of a hotel that would be closer to the office. I can already tell that Trace is not interested in the banking of semen, so hopefully all this planning won't have to be put in to effect.

February 25, 2013 CD 13

Yesterday Trace and I went in for our monitoring appointment. I was really excited to have him with me. My favorite resident Dr. B actually did my US which I thought was pretty neat and she showed me and went over all my numbers. My follicles were still on the smaller side so she said for us to wait another day and then trigger tonight. I'm still worried that they are even to small to trigger tonight. The largest one on the right was a 15.37 and the one on the left was a 12.49. I had one of the US techs at work scan me today and my right had gotten to a 16.5 and they couldn't find my left without going transvaginal. When I asked Dr. B about my small follicles she told me they were still acceptable and that is why they were giving them an extra day to mature. I'm trying to trust them and believe that they will do what's best for me, but it's still hard to see $600 flushed down the toilet every month.

February 23, 2013 CD 11

This week has so far been a great week. Well it may just seem like a great week after last week! TTGP wise I've drank Pom juice everyday and took all my Clomid pills. We have our CD12 monitoring tomorrow and I'm super excited because Trace is going with me. I'm really hoping for huge follies this time and will probably request more monitoring if they aren't over 18 this time.

In other news there has been a huge break in my career so please keep me in your thoughts that I make all the right decisions and that I'm given the opportunity to return to doing what I enjoy. I've been very unhappy and not been challenged the last 7 months and it has really been wearing on me. So hopefully there will be positive changes happening soon!

Yesterday I went to Tractor Supply and when I walked in the door you should have heard all the chirping! Chicks were in! I got so excited and headed straight to the back to ohhhh and awwww over them. I've never had a chicken so I sent Trace a picture and said "Can I?" I got back a big fat NO. So I called him and he said yes so I walked out with 6 mini bantams! They chirped the whole 45 minutes home.... Trace built them a little coop in the goat pen and we had to modify it after our Great Pyrenees Chief showed a little to much interest in them. It was so sweet when we put them in there! The chirping finally eased and they all passed out for a nap. If you've never seen a chick sleep its hilarious they just kind of collapse in a heap. Face first in the shavings.

We finished our night off by celebrating National Margarita Day with a bunch of awesome friends!